Besides learning last night that the Spurs are probably a horrible, terrifying matchup for the Thunder, we learned that Eric Maynor’s middle name is Demarqua. Maybe you knew that already, but it certainly caught me off guard. I don’t know why, but middle names are always kind of interesting to me. Especially when you have as normal a name as “Eric Maynor” but the middle of that is something like Demarqua.
So naturally, I spent the afternoon looking up every player’s middle name.
Royal Terence Ivey — I think Ivey should start going by Royal T. Ivey. That sounds awesome.
Nicholas John Collison — Kinda disappointed Nick’s middle name isn’t “Plusminus.”
Ryan Rupert Reid — We learned this in Nick Collison’s nicknames piece for GQ. As Nick said, Rupert is a tremendous middle name.
Kevin Wayne Durant — Since his middle name is Wayne, I think we should start calling KD “The Duke.” Or maybe “Bruce.” Or “Batman.” Or “Gacy,” since KD is certainly a cold-blooded killer. See, Nick Collison, I can play the nickname game too.
Eric Demarqua Maynor — Demaqura. Can’t get over it.
Thabo Patrick Sefolosha — Definitely didn’t see that one coming. I asked my wife what she thought about it would be and she said “Vevey.”
Russell Westbrook — He doesn’t have one. Somehow, I see this as extraordinarily fitting and I don’t know why. Honey Badger don’t need no middle name. Or something like that.
Lazar Miller Hayward — Was hoping it was going to be “Ironhead.”
James Edward Harden — Move over King James, we’ve got King Edward. Kind of wish Harden would go by his middle name. James Harden sounds cool enough, but Edward Harden is next level.
Nazr Tahiru Mohammed — Yep, sounds about right.
Cole David Aldrich — Phew, I was worried it was going to be Cole Robert Swift Aldrich. Good sign, you guys.
Kendrick Le’Dale Perkins — Honestly, I pictured Perk as a no middle name kind of guy. And definitely didn’t expect Le’Dale.
Reggie Jackson — Couldn’t find a middle name, but it would have to be “Martinez,” right? Because that was Mr. October’s middle name. Also: He was born in Italy. Didn’t know that.
Serge Jonas Ibaka Ngobila — I don’t know how it started, but there’s some misinformation that Ibaka’s full name is “Sergeballu LaMu Sayonga Loom Walahas Jonas Hugo Ibaka.” Which would be completeld bad a if it was, but it’s not.
Daequan Lee Cook — Other than his first name being Daequan, that’s a very standard name.
Scott William Brooks — I think Brooks should start going by William. William Brooks would definitely give him more coach cred, I think. Sounds like a smart guy.
Sam Prestigiacomo — No joke, that’s Sam Presti’s actual name. I couldn’t find his middle name, but with a last name like that, I would assume it was either Genius, Vinny or Demarqua.