Top 10 Thunder tweets of summer (so far)

By Keaton Lamle
Special to Daily Thunder

Longtime NBA fans will remember whole summers when the league essentially went dark, disappearing from headlines and public consciousness between Father’s Day and Halloween. If you wanted a summer hoops fix in the nineties or early aughts, you either had to pull out VHS tapes from the previous year or scour USA Today to see which of the JailBlazers spent the night in the slammer. Things have changed. The summer is now, if anything, an even busier NBA news cycle than the actual season, with Cold-War levels of espionage and misdirection playing out via summer league and social media gossip (google “Deandre Jordan news”).

But there is another, underappreciated aspect of summer: 450 tall millionaires find themselves with time to travel and tweet for the first time in eight or nine months. The results are often hilarious (see this and this). OKC’s roster is no exception, offering one of the most entertaining rosters in the league when it comes to summer social media. I’ve spent the summer scrolling through pictures and shout-outs and Meek Mill lyrics and have ranked the Top Ten Thunder Tweets of the Summer.

10) Perception and Reality

Sometime last November, Dion Waiters apparently lost his twitter account password, because an incredibly active feed went completely silent overnight. However, in early July Waiters tweeted that after eight months he has managed to complete the password recovery process. It wasn’t long before Waiters proved his return to top twitter form with this gem:

A little context for why this is funny: Dion does not ‘barley be on here.’ Dion is always on here. Waiters averaged more than thirty tweets per day in July alone, manually re-tweeting trolls, performing birthday shout-outs, and building a groundswell of support for his case that he was cheated out of being featured on TNT’s illustrious ‘Shaqtin’ a Fool’ segment.

This is what makes Dion Waiters a national treasure. Unlike most humans, Waiters doesn’t observe facts, form an opinion, and then state that opinion. Instead, Dion Waiters begins with the presupposition that he’s right and then manipulates reality to agree with him. Which explains how a player with a 10.93 PER can make statements like, “Men lie. Women lie. Buckets don’t.”

9) Boat Trip

Sometimes I wonder what we did before Steven Adams came into our life. Sporting a claw-mark tattoo, a bombastic mustache that seems less ironic by the day, and the team’s best accent, the enormous kiwi occasionally gives the impression that his entire career is some form of performance art. Take for example this, the greatest profile picture of any professional athlete. Or his casual obsession with neuroscience (Adams has to be the only NBA player who regularly retweets bestselling neuroscientist, Sam Harris).

Or this tweet:

My guess is that I’m not the only one who naively imagines the players hanging out constantly in their spear time— chilling in the godfather booth at local restaurants, wasting entire days on Madden tournaments, riding tandem bikes to the beach. It’s nice to have my naivety confirmed by this photo.

There’s so much to love here. For starters, Collison giving his best smug sunglasses model grin for the camera. Also, Adams’ caption: ‘Cheeky boat trip for the boys.’ I had to look up the vaguely British-sounding adjective, ‘cheeky.’ According to dictionary.com, it means, “impudent or irreverent, typically in an endearing or amusing way.”

Steven Adams is nothing if not self-aware.

8) The Brodie

Sometimes a picture speaks for itself.

Semi-related: Russell uses the term ‘brodie’ all the time and I’ve still yet to really grasp its meaning.

7) RIP Bob Barry Jr.

Kevin Durant’s relationship with twitter has always been complicated. On one hand, it has allowed the public an unprecedented degree of access to one of the most likeable young stars in professional sports. On the other hand, it’s also allowed that same likeable star a public forum in which to air better-left-unsaid thoughts about how he’d be willing to drink Scarlett Johansson’s bathwater.

Life is complicated.

The upside to having Durant on twitter is that it allows us access to what led so many to fall in love with him in the first place: His genuinely kind heart.

For all the talk of his surly interview persona and the much-discussed icy OKC locker room, KD has always positioned himself as an affable guy, the type of celebrity who understands the responsibility his status confers (take for example his lightning-fast million dollar donation to relief efforts in the wake of the ’12 Moore Tornado).

As contentious as Durant may sometimes seem, this heartfelt tribute to Bob Barry Jr. reveals a lot. Sure, a cynic might view this as Durant recognizing an opportunity for a good PR move, extending an olive branch to local media. But somehow I doubt that’s what this is. I imagine that, like all of us, Kevin sensed that Barry’s death left a hole in the community and it warmed my heart to see him express that.

6) On the Road

Nick Collison’s twitter feed has been sparse as of late, but his instagram game is as strong as ever, thanks in large part to Steven Adams.

I’ve yet to decide who’s Sal Paradise and who’s Dean Moriarty.

5) Serge Protector

Serge Ibaka consistently frustrates opposing players with his physical defense, often ending up in the center of post-whistle dustups (Matt Barnes wants to fight him!). But even if Ibaka won’t be winning any Players Association popularity contests, it’s difficult to criticize him on a personal level. Since his rookie season, Serge has consistently spent summers leveraging his personal brand to bring light to a variety of humanitarian issues for his home, the Congo. Especially since the release of his “Son of the Congo” earlier this year, Serge has worked tirelessly, often meeting with global leaders to discuss charity programs and wildlife preservation.

Which is what lead to this recent run-in with Bill Clinton.

The premise is almost an SNL sketch: Clinton, shining his ‘I-feel-your-pain’ smile and speaking Congolese French with an Arkansas drawl, his shiny silver bouffant peaking just short of Serge’s neck.

Also charming: the way neither Clinton nor Ibaka seem to know whether the video is over or not, providing viewers with an extra second or two of bemused discomfort.

4) The Loneliest Number

Submitted without context on July 22^nd. I like to imagine that Adams had the waiter snap this picture.

3) Tree Hugger

Enes Kanter’s tweets are written almost exclusively in Turkish, which is why I don’t follow him. However, some things transcend even the language barrier. This photo is one such thing:

What could have possibly prompted this pose? Can you imagine what it would have been like to be an innocent bystander in that park, watching two seven-footers inexplicably embrace a tree? Should Steven Adams get some sort of bonus for appearing in 40 % of the Thunder’s top tweets this summer? And can Sam Presti work out some under-the-table deal in his next contract stipulating that after retirement, Adams will have a permanent spot in the Thunder front office as manager of social media relations?

2) UFC 191

Honestly, I just really want this fight to happen. I once wrote that if I were building a clone army like the one in the Star Wars prequels, Serge Ibaka would be my first choice for the person I’d clone. Matt Barnes is a bit lower on my list, above Ruth Bader Ginsburg, but below Jimmer Fredette.

What would the odds have to be before you’d put money on Matt Barnes in this one? 10:1? 20:1? Higher than that?

1) Hassan Whiteguy All Day Long

Mitch McGary’s entire timeline.

Perhaps this seems like cheating, and maybe it is. Still, the fact is that given 140 characters or less, Mitch McGary is a force to be reckoned with.

McGary’s mastery of twitter is due to two things: A) His penchant for unintentional comedy and B) pure attrition.

Early in the morning, McGary is re-tweeting swimsuit pics. At noon, McGary is begging trolls to like him and sharing pictures of painted snakes. After dinner, he’s playing Top Golf and posing with every single guest and employee. In the time it takes Steven Adams to produce a single Instagram picture, McGary has crashed a server somewhere with his constant stream of relationship advice and sports commentary and sincere invitations to meet up and hang.

McGary’s entire online persona raises so many questions. Is it standard practice for NBA players to ask their entire social media following to hang out? Are other athletes cruising twitter looking for social entertainment (Yes, apparently)? And what does Mitch do with that freshly-bathed Great Dane when he’s jetsetting to Michigan to watch softball?

It’s been a productive summer. I’ve learned a lot from scanning every last Thunder tweet. For instance, Mitch McGary loves Chipotle, Steve Novak attended the Kentucky Derby, and Dion Waiters only knows how to retweet manually.

If these guys can accomplish this much in a mere ninety days using only their thumbs, then the sky truly is the limit, even in a western conference full of juggernauts.

An Oklahoma native, Keaton Lamle now lives in Atlanta where he writes, teaches writing, and makes music. Follow him on twitter (@keatonkristofer) if you want to see pictures of his dog.