Enjoy a completely ridiculous Thunder trade rumor

Andrew Bynum to Oklahoma City for Kendrick Perkins and Nate Robinson. That’s a trade that’s been discussed, according to one Paul Finney of the New Orleans Times-Picayune. He writes in a column posted on July 3:

As for L.A., there’s a rumor the Lakers will trade center Andrew Bynum to Oklahoma City for Kendrick Perkins and guard Nate Robinson. Bynum believes Kobe Bryant is too old to win again, that Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook can win more than Kobe (who has won five titles) ever did.

Will trade. Meaning it’s going to happen.

Also, he’s “heard” that J.R. Smith will reunite with Byron Scott in Cleveland, that Chris Bosh might be dealt to Dallas for Jason Kidd and Brendan Haywood and that Tony Parker wants to play with Blake Griffin in Los Angeles. And also because for some reason it’ll give him a better chance to reconcile with Eva Longoria. Seriously. He wrote this.

Now. There’s a very good chance Finney is trying to prove some kind of point with this column, that NBA rumors are out of control, that by tossing out a few “I’ve heard” or “they say” that people (read: bloggers) will take the bait and run with it. He might be trying to do that.

But if he did, he did an absolutely awful job of it. Like horrible. For one, I honestly can’t tell if it’s supposed to be satire or not. It seems like he’s legitimately saying he’s heard these things. Maybe he heard them from his brother-in-law who was actually referring to a trade he was working on in NBA 2K11. Maybe he heard it from his dog who was talking to him in a dream. Maybe he heard it from himself when he said it out loud while writing this ridiculous column. Or maybe he heard it from an agent, front office executive, player or close connection to a player. Who knows.

Sometimes things work like this in this stupid rumor game. Mitch Kupchak is sort of shopping Andrew Bynum around, just to get a feel for his value in case he needs to trade him later. He calls Sam Presti and says, “Hey Sam, Andrew Bynum for Perk and Nate. Would you be in?” Presti says, “Nah, don’t think so. We just signed Perk long-term and are invested in him.” They say nice things about each other, talk about how excited they are about Captain America and then hang up (I have no idea what GMs talk about). Then Kupchak is talking to David Kahn later about trying to maybe get the No. 2 pick and Kupchak says, “You know I was talking to Presti about maybe dealing Bynum for Perk and Robinson, if that does anything for you.” Then like a game of telephone all this crap starts circling around and ends up in a stupid Paul Finney column. It’s very possible this is what happened.

What’s real though is the Thunder aren’t trading Perk to the Lakers for Andrew Bynum. This is pretty much entirely some weird fabrication that may or may not be trying to prove a point. Nate Robinson? I wouldn’t doubt that Presti’s made some calls that included his name. But Andrew Bynum is not about to be traded to OKC. Not in this sense, at least.

I’m pretty much baffled by the point or idea of the column in general (I mean, where’s he going with this? It starts by talking about Dell Demps, then does some rumor whoring and then ends with something about Roger Goodell and the Saints? What the eff is going on?), but the fact people have emailed and tweeted me saying, “Thoughts on the Bynum to OKC rumor?” caught my attention. And despite it maybe being part of some backwards column trying to prove a point or maybe being a real thing Finney “heard,” (from Elvis, in person, I bet) it means we can all dust off the Trade Machine, play around for a bit and talk about something other than this miserable lockout.

Thanks, Paul. I guess.