The Side Part: Nike is evil
I had this real official Reggie Jackson piece all typed up. It was about the inevitably of him leaving. How he would be traded, and that it probably wouldn’t be at all a bad thing. It was about how he mopes. How he’s looked like the human personification of Eeyore. How, when the camera moves in on him, his eyes seem empty.
Then I realized, thanks to Royce, that Town of Love existed. This is really and truly next level. This website is enough to make Westboro Baptist Church raise an eyebrow and say, “Yo, check out THIS guy.” If you have somehow not read this, it is Charles Hubbard’s contention — and Charles Hubbard has guns blazing here…dude is even going after David Green who, you know, you’d think he’d be super down with — that had Kevin Durant done the good, Christian thing, and signed with Under Armour, rather than Nike, the Thunder, and he, would be having a much more successful season. He feels that Durant is betraying Jesus Christ by signing with Nike. Again, he thinks that if Durant had signed with a company that is not Nike, that he would be doing well. It is his affiliation with Nike that is the cause of his and the team’s troubles. He thinks all of this because he feels that Nike is evil. He feels this so much that there is an entire sub-heading of his website dedicated to that fact.
I do not want to get into a theological debate here because this is a basketball column about basketball and not a God column about God. But I think it’s fairly safe to say that there are larger fish and bread for God to fry than the outcome of an NBA season. Something tells me he’s more interested in larger, more pressing things. What I want to focus on here, is Hubbard’s belief that God does not want people who wear or are affiliated with Nike to be successful. This seems perfectly reasonable, I think he’s right, and nothing that has happened prior to now could ever contradict that belief and prove it be silly and lacking any kind of actual thought…
Hey, Mike. Trying to write a piece here, man.
Dude, Mike. For real.
Mike, just go back to toiling in mediocrity with Charlotte, okay? Truly. Don’t have time for this.
Yea, okay, you wanna do this? What did you really win?
Yea, but…
Alright, all you’re showing me there is that you’re crying a lot. You have no real joy. Had you signed with Godly companies like Adidas or Reebok or Fila then maybe you’d have had some legitimate joy, but you do not know what happiness feels like…
Okay, but wait…
Yea, but you’re not with their mother anymore are you? You’re divorced and cold and alone and…
Alright, she’s very pretty, but hold on…
That’s a smug face and I don’t appreciate you going before Stewart Cink, who is a patriot, and a champion, and a man who, unlike you, will try to win for America, the greatest country on the face…
Peace? What?
Fine. I’ll leave.
